disintegrate

rate

did u miss me?..were u thinking about me today??..

so here i am again i have failed to overcome the urge of blogging...ok that was lame!

ANYWAYS...i spent a whole week in a london and wanna know what i did?..i spent the whole weeek revising for chemistry!! damn i really hope i wil do well i have neglected my other subs which isnt so good but i am just extremely worried about my chemistry papers...oh pleasee!! now im have a massive panic attack because the site where i usually get my mark schemes isnt working..OH MY GOODNESS ...i know its seriously retarded that i feel like stabbing myself over mark schemes but for these 2 weekks it my life..well i have been waking really early lately at like 615 and going into school before 7 to go swimming its actually quite relaxing and i never realised it until now . Everyone isnt really going into school because we are having study leave so im the only over excited person that goes to school before the break of DAWN!!!...gosh i realy scare myself sometimes..and i realise i really dislike Sleepp big big waste of time if only i didnt have to then i would have so much done :)

i miss cathrin..shes back in germany because shes done with her IB! now im friendless ..i tend to just chat non-stop with her and now shes not a few doors down anymore..but all is good because i only have 4 weeks left in this place. to say that i will miss this place will be an overstatement because i dont think will but i will forver cherish the experience as i grew up so much while i was here!!..its basically my stepping stone to bigger and BETTER things :).. Darren left like a week ago and it feels like a year or sumthing..i miss him so much , i keep telling him il call every alternate day but i keep calling just cus i miss the sound of his voice. i was having such a bad headache when i got up this morning and i wanted to call him because every time i have a headache he talks crap which makes me laugh and in turn make me forget that i have a headache..:)..yea yeass..i miss him heell loads but i try not to think about it because i HAVE EXAMS~!!!!,,,goodness me..i cant believe its already here the last strech of my journey of high school ...i cant wait! i feel myself at the edge and im about to jump off..

i cant believe some of really close peeps are going to australia!!!..GAHH..oh why??..shouldve chosen to come here..:)..but anywyas i really all of you the best of luck with what your pursuing and i hope all that you hope the experience would be..will be..i shall miss all the familiar faces when i go back...its hard to grow up and really realising that everything has changed and nothing will ever be the same but i know whatevr it is..we are all capable of achving all the successes of the world with enough FAITH and motivation..dont be afraid to leave because just like what my dad told me before i left

" once the nestling is ready and strong to fly over the nest, the mummy and daddy bird will support it by watching it leave the nest with heavy hearts "

life isnt always beautiful , life isnt always nice...it hurts and screamss out confusion but with enough love and patience we'll make it together , hand in hand..

i guess im speaking from experience as i remember leaving brunei 2 years ago as i had my heart in my throat and the many moments i didnt want to leave and just hold on to something!! someone to say dont leave but i never told a soul because the decision was made and i had to be strong for myself and evryone around me. the biggest fear was that i made a mistake and didnt want to lead a life of regret. i felt so small and unsure in an unknown place not knowing anyone, but at least i knew myself and trusted in my strength as evrytime i felt alone i knew GOD was watching over me..

and it was when i finally left did i appreciate what i had back home. its funny how i wished so hard to escape and when i finally did i only realise how lucky i was. not evryone will have the same experience but for me it was a life lesson nothing beats family and home. i think the best thing about living away from home is growing independent and finding out for yourself what it is you want from your life as you learn and discover many new things, as well as the people that you meet along the way.

ok but anyways i watched ugly betty season 2..and oh my gooddnesss...i cried so much!!!!!!..when they showed hilda with santos i really thought he didnt die and in the end he actually did die and she was imagining it all :( :( :(...as i am typing this i can actually burst into tears!!! its just so sad as they were planning a life together and it took 10 years from him to come back and take responsibility and he has to go aand die..WHYYYYYYY :(..so sad..i know its just a series but its just a real position as i cant imagine losing someone that i planned to spen d the rest of my life with then he just isnt there anymore..so sad..I MISS DARREN

i talked to veenah that day and gosh i love that girl. we were talking non-stop for god knows how long like we always do to make things worse i forgot what we talked about most of the time.. :)i miss that crazy beeeyotch and itss scary how in-sync we are at timessss...cant believe so many peeps wont be there when i get back at least i have ANN to bug and annoy..wahahaha..oh yeah GOODLUCKK for your examsss :)

and now im going to back to studying because i will nver stop my stupid rambling but yeah..the mark scheme site just opened up and im ECSTATIC..

FAB:)