disintegrate

rate

i had my math mock todayy and it was HARD...i didnt realise the paper would be that difficult cuz i have done most of the past papers and they all seemed pretty much ok with the exception of one or two confusing questions. So, it took me by the surprise and now i think my morale has dropped from an 80 to a 30%...and to make things worse i have two more weeks to the real thing!!..goodness..i just hope it will work out for the best in the end..

things have been falling into place and in alot of ways i have GOD to thank for it. I have prayed hard for this confusion and conflict within myself . i have allowed other things/people to steer my course but now i know that this is a sign for me to just FINALLY make a decision .its all up to me. so why does it seem harder now that i am left with the ball in my hands. im not sure what im going to do yet but i know either way i will have support and love. its ironic how life drops u down a couple of feet but never fails to bring you back up again so long you accept that you are in need of help.

my brothers birthday was 2days ago. Eventhough he doesn't read my blog i would just like to say:

happy birthday ko!..i just hope that this will be a great year for you and just know you are alwayss in my heart and mind no matter how far away i am. i think you have instilled me things that i would never gained without you. im not sure how much a coincidence it is that i am going to study the same subject you studied in university and that we;re both left handed. mummy kept telling me last time that you would always be teaching me how to write when i was young cus we were both left handed.

i would like to say thank you. thank you for being an inspiration for me in my life, our age gap is ridiculously huge but we still manage to find out middle ground at timess.. your definitely the typical older brother that is extremely protectivee and authoritative-like towards me and it annoys the heck out of me sometimess but i know you do it just out of love.though some funny outcomes do occur esp when u first met darren and you were SOO cold towardss him and on hindsight it seems funny but to funny for darren.hahaa..but it all worked out in the end..i know there were timess we disagreed but we just did what familiess do best. that is to love unconditionally and forgive which i think is the true definition of family and also with sincerity and kindness.i remember you would drag me to lectures in UBd by the Brunei nature society though id complain but then get all into it after listening..HAHA and get alll excited about fooodd with me!!!,,i remember the time we went to fratinis evry single day when it was hari-raya promo!!..

all and al i would just like to say...happy birthday and may all ur hopes and dreams come true.

love loadss XoXo