disintegrate

rate

i think this shall be one of those type of blogss that pretty much depressing and melancholic. i had a day filled with stress and i am pushed to the edge i can barely feel the ground below me. i have lost evrything that i love most,. i havent had the moodd to talk as it tires me and is just too much effort and my love for waffles has deteriorated and foood for that matter. i dun feel like eating cus i loook at food makes me feell sick and ALSO TOO MUCH EFFORT. i am having my M1 mocks tomorrow , i am not sure how i will do because i am not birlliant in physics and mechanics is basically physicss so im hoping for the best. ive already done two paperss today but i still have so much to do :(..i was feeling completely lost in chem class today as we are doing revisions now until our last day of schooll..it made me sooo depressed and just suckedd all the life i had life in me. i tried to make myself better by going to river island for some retail therapy but it didnt work cus i just came out just crummyy as i did before being tempted in.DAMN thosee pretty shoes!!

all my life i have always felt like an outsider. i guess i can get in the mood of conversations relatively easy with people but i always fail to make a connection that can reallly grab me to actually not feel distracted. maybe this is why i consider only a few people in my life as really close friends. and itss not my fault really..i hate people who are so damn fake. i seriously dislike people who are so friendly and talkative in front of me then as soon i turn my back they turn into a bitch or just flat out turn shady on me. i prefer to not have the conversation in the first place, as there is no point in trying to make a connection on superficial grounds. i'd rather be left alone than put up with "Fake friends" . i just have no energy to deal with that anymore. there are also times where i feel as though the people around me are not on the same page as me. their interest liess elsewhere and thats fine with mee as we are not all built the same way... whatver it is the show must go on and since evryones a fake anyways..the music keeps on playing on.