disintegrate

rate

i miss the sand between my toes and the water sweeeping pass my feet...

anywayss..ive been in such random moods lately its starting to wear me down. there are things that ive done im not proud of and if i had the chance to do it all again im almost certain that i would change those moments. but what is there left to do now? somethings are already broken beyond repair and some have lost its will power and it all comes down to me!..why do i do this?..why cant i accept good things that come my way..i tend to question its motives and why it had to happen..when did i become so skeptical of the world? once uve been burned its hard to forget the pain..though the memory of the pain may disappear the scars are still left behind.

sometimes i cant deal with my own self..this teenage angst within me is getting really annoying cus all i want to do is to shut it out and forgET EVERYTHing!!! why cant i forget??? just when i think im free it creeps back up on me and takes me by surprise..oh how i hate u..i hate what uve done to me...are u happy now?

but then again...i cant give you the feeling that u still have power over me..because u Dont.and i refuse u to have any..its my life and i can take control of it..it may have been insignificant to you but right now i really dunt care anymore..enough have been said..

DAMN...i think im turning into a schizo!!!!

on a brighter note !!! =P...

"i really do not think that i have already won it, the one thing i do however is to forget what is behind me and do my best to reach what is ahead.So i run straight towards the goal in order to win the prize, which is God's call through Christ Jesus to the life above."

i hope barack obama wins the election. i am hoping that with his victory that segregation within communities due to racial backgorunds will start to diminish. i mean it is impossible to stop it completely but maybe there will be some ray of hope for those who feel they are unfairly treated just because they are a minority in the society. we are all human beings who deserves a voice that can be heard. whether we like it or not, america will have a great impact on our life as it is one of the dominant forces today. i just hope they wont be fucking stupid and elect someone
like george bush again!! i mean he may have thought he was doing the right thing but i think weighing the pros and the cons i would think SAVing lives would be top priority and not sacrificing more! its ridiculous how many more lives continued on dying after 9/11. what did the after math of 9/11 teach us as youths of the world?..REVENGE IS SWEET? though its depressing to realise that, it is true. with all those brilliant minds in congress im sure a better solution would've have been made if only he didnt have the need to protect his ego.

i miss u!