disintegrate

rate

so today went by realli fast and thats a good thing...i had chemistry bio and math then last peroid of politics...wow what an interesting day..eheh oh yeah i applied for school officer today without realising i needed to set up a speech and all,..haiyer and now i feel like chickening outt!!..ahahah..so so nervouss..

anyways...been down lately and still cant get out of it..i guess we're not meant to be hapi all the timee..life is just meant to have its ups and downs..the worse thing is i feel like im pushing away the ppl that realli love me and i dun even know why im doing it,.sumtimes i feel like a bird caught up in a cage but then i realised i put myself in that cage..how ironic and such a predicament it all realli is...he has the power over each emotion and in my mind im constantly thinking about him...im not so sure if thats a good thing...but im moving towards a no..hehe..how can i not?...haiyah love him too many baby oreoss..hope he can tolerate what the hell it is im doing......ive become someone ive alwes hated..i used to be so sure and cared like helll..but i guess my past rship had robbed me of that feeling instead ive become his unwillingness, discontent and insufficient..what happen to the girll that was there a few blinks ago!

ok im makingg a concious decision to stop being so damn depressed and start FRESHH!!!.

TOP TEN REASONS WHY VANESSA SHOULD STAY POSITIVE
1.my sister had a safe flight and now is happyy and well!!!...finally talked to her =)
2.toked to my brother just noww and my mama!!!..GOSHH he bought a camer alredi..WAA it was the eaxct one i wanted eventho i didnt tell him..its the SONY DSC t-10..7.2 mega pixelss!!!..rock sockksS...ahaha
3.i LOVE DARREN AND HE LOVESS MEE......
4.I have at least 2-3 months to prepare for my exmass..so itss not too latee
5.Holss are coming upppppp.....hopefullehh darrennss comingg =)
6.after holsss..just give me 2 monthss and il get my asss back in BRUneiii <3
7.gonnaa go singapore with my mummy and lil bro..family time rockss!..ahaha
8i have a boyfrenn that wishes for the same thingss as i do,looks damn hot,plays tenniss with me AND FAMILY WHO ARE SOOO NICE =)
9.my family lovesss meeee....
10. my cus lu yee expecting a secondd childd!!! how cuteee =) more niecess and nephewss .i have abouttt 10 NOW!!!!...haiyah they grow up so fast le..
11.i am breathinggg.....
12. ive got frenss that i can talk to and tell my probss to..
13.oppotunitiess are thhere for the taking and all i have to do is work for it...
14.did i mention il be going backkk in 4monthss!!! aHHHHhhh...soo rockinggg
15.mite get my licenseeeeeeeeeeeeeee...ahhah...hopefullehhh :P

ok ive got past ten...but anyways...i have to study statistics cus i have math test on friday..yuck duck*...
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