disintegrate

rate

THIS IS WHO I AM....AND WHAT DEFINESS MY VERY BEING...

isnt she purrdyy??..

i love my familleh =)..(nuthing to cry about,we'll hold each other soon)

my sis =)

awww....this was minutes before i told i lost her phone..opps! =)

its cus we're coooll lkee that!!!

MY sis rock sockss...and my bro luks blur at the back...huhhuu...

im having such a sad day....evr had one of those days when evrything doesn seem to make sense and all u wanna do is get rid of the heaviness in ur heart that makes the simplest thinglike breathing so diffcult...i dunno what to do?..i guess il get over it by tomorrow but for now im just feeling sad..sigh*

my sis left for washington today..and i bet my families pretty upset today..we all love her and support in whatver she wantss to do but i just hope and pray that GOD will be by her side and direct her away from harm..i love my sis shes such an inspiration to me..shes the bravest person and smartest person i know..and not to mention classsiest..well i mite be buyest just cuz shes my sis..shes accomplished so much in such a short span of time and i just cant wait to see what she does next =)..yeah we have the occasional sisterly fightss and sumtimes i cant stand the sight of her but i know i can always turn to her for an honest and brutal opinion and have talkss that last the whole nite...she openss up to me which is quite rare for her...i love her to death and i dunno if she knowss that...eventho im not in brunei it makes me feel sad that shes leaving cus a part of me tells me that shes leaving and her coming back to brunei may be an unlikely thing...im gonna miss sharing a bed with her and getting annoyed cus she hogs the blanket and buying like tonnes of tabloid magaziness and going ohh...and ahhh!! at the bagss celebritiess are using..and she'll be ok yeah im getting that and funny enuf she alwes does!!..ahaha..shes nutss...she has soo many bagss itss crazy!!..im gonna miss just driving around kb or bandar with her..and her drving as fast as a mad person and swearing like a trucker!!..and telling her who i tot was hot and the latest gossip in skul or wherever...though we have a 7 year gap..we seem to get along pretty well..i guess we're just open to each others livess and hey shes the only sister ive got...so most of the time its me blabbing and pretending shes paying attention..she alwes sayss im sucha a princess and spoiled and that ineed to toughen up..i remember we went on a trip to singapore and we saw this hot guy in changi airport and we were like talking then all of a sudden we just stopped and was like..OKK!! now he was hot..ahaha...i remember when she broke up with him and she called me and talked to me about it..we were both crying on the phone and i was just telling her evrythings gonna be ok...at that moment she wasnt an older sister but more a friend in need...

when we were young...she would get annoyed with me and throw me oout of her room while screaming at me...and yeah i guess i wasnt the perfect lil sis cus i was pretty brattyy..even at 9 she trusted me but then i betrayed her cus my brother scared the shit out of me so in the end i told them what was really happening..i tot she would nevr forgive me and that she'll hate me forver but after a few months she started caring agen....but after she graduated thingss just changed and the distance made me appreciate her more.when i had problems with al and i was confused and didnt know what to do..she just asked me to shut up and just break up with him!!..ahhaha...yeah that was harsh but was sumthing i needed cus i knew it was sumthing i had to do but didnt have the courage to admit at the time...my sis taught me what it meant to be independent and brave..she was the sole reason i finally made the decision to come to the UK...i remember crying for that whole week and she picked me up from church then we went to dinner..she said i lookd horrible but we just talked..n she allowed me to put evrything in perspective...and before i left she told me that she knows shes alwes forcing me to groow up and stop acting like a baby..whereas in reality i'll alwes be her lil sister and she will alwess have the need to rescue me and tell me what to do..and that will never change and i will never have to worrry of going thru life alone and that if i regretted making this decision she will get me out of it cus she knows im too young to make sucha decision so shes obligated to take responsibiity..

even as im typing this..my tearss starts to fall cus i miss her so much..shes like my best fren , my big cece....the one i watch america's next top model with and the that one critises everything i wearr ...the one im so proud to call my sister..<3

and if it all goess welll...il be celebrating my 19th birthday in washington..hehe

when theres no one with u when ur soul embarks...il follow u into the dark*

Labels: i love my ceki..