disintegrate

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when does it be ok to let all ur guard down and take the risk to take that one leap!!...im stuck in this cross roads in my life..i am forced to ask myself what do i value most in this life of mine...what regrets will i create for mysellf by making this decision..i will never know until it actuallyy stares me right in the face and is ready to strike me down!!...i need to listen to my own inner voice but it seems to be clouded by so many other things...i wish i had the answers i wish i could be more decisive and just stop beating around the fucking bush!!!...i have to stop questioning my own feelingss......

why do i feel so unhappy?..is it cus im not letting go of the past that was so beautiful in itss own way?..i dun wanna base my decision on that!! i cant stand iit...i need to make a decision soon!!...i dun wanna look back and realised i wasnt thinking realisticalllyy!!!...why am i sooo determinedd in making my life so diffficult?..ok so what?????......im gonna let u go and hope that ul come back!!!...im going round in circless here and itss driving mee completely MAD!!!..should i listen to myself?..or otherss that seem to be more sure and experienced?..its like im trying to give myself reasons on why i should stay!!!...i cant seem to let it go!!...i try not to constantly think abouttt it but here i am agen...thinking about and wishing the situation will changee!!..plzzz LORD!!..give me the answeerss that i needd!!!...i feeell too small and weak to make such a decision...should i make the RIGHT and RESpONSIBLE decision or FOLLOW my HEART ?..i wanna follow my heart but some say im too young and innocent to make such a decision that i cant see the bigger picture!!.

HElp =(