disintegrate

rate

wellll...today we had mufti day for a fundraising event for Children In Need and the theme was PAJAMAS!!!...it was prettyy funny seeing evryone in pajamas and robess!!...even the teachers got into it..like when i saw mr.mcfarlene i swear i just exploded into laughter cus he was using a beanie and green pjs..dam i tot he was like the cleaners or whatevr..aaahaha..damn and mrs.barnett came with pink pjss..ohhyeahh mr.herrick was the funniest cus he wore blue and red pjs with his red tie and his white lab coat,,it was a seriously entertaining day at skul...hopefully they raised the amount they needed...

i feeell absolutely cluessless..im really happy with where i am right now in my life and i just have so much to still think about..why cant i just be happy and not have to worrry about the next critical decision to be made..i mean i know life is basically a roller coaster ride and u cant control how fast ur going or where ur heading but all u know is ur definitely heading sumwhere and FAST!anywes i dunno what i want right now...ive fallen head over heels for him..i feel like he makes me smile more than he should..and makes me laugh like theres no tomoro...i wish i could be with him..hess soo amazing..and all im afraid now is to actually let go once agen and allow my heart to be vulnerable...knowing me i tink ive alredi done it..cus i just realised id rather be away from you than be without you*

life isnt fake!!...sumtimes i just wanna cry and scream and laugh all at the same time..like i dun need to have a reason for crying like il jst do it and it'll be ok..IM OK!!.GODaMMIT i am ok...i dun have to be perfect i dun need all the answerss,,,,if u need sumone to talk to il alwes be here and though all our lives dun really mix anymore it doesnt mean u become less important...u just have to catch my attention cus im running around trying to be superwoman.i realise i do that alot i alwes try to achieve as much as possiblee...and stressig myself out..basicallly i feell like im alwes trying to strive for sumthing..itss like ok once ive reached my goal i wont be satisfied and try to reach for another goall...gosh i wear myself out...

i feel like going down memory lane.......
i remember actually waking up and feeling happy about going to skul cus i knew it woud alwes be an intersting day at skul...i would usually be early so i would walk up the stairs and start chattering away with the early birds like claude or saf or wang or attend morning mass at church...damn as the day progressed ann,charm and vee will arrive and we'll aredi have sumthing to laugh hysterically about...even if it was stupid...sitting next to veetash in class was alwes fun cus she'll alwes have stomach aches..like she'll call them contractionss and il be drinking her water from her SEXY bottle..and by 2nd period i had gone to the toilet 5times...and i alwes like to jumpp on ann and she'll alws be like..WWOOII!!!!!..and yeah we'll alwes try to get charm to let us read her msgss cus she was on it 24/7!!..and she'll never give in!!.we alwes ask for lanja..and pppll that usually succumbed were FAZA =)..SAF =)...ZUL =)....and even pierre.sumtimes..ahahah...oh yeah KYLE =)....i remembered my roswell montage when the whle day i would recite lines from roswell when ppl start toking to me and il finish as whle scene!!..and they would try to shut me up and i remember clearly the first day of final term and i sed i watched my roswell 2nd season cus i cudn helpp it!!..and i started tokin about it and veenah was like DUDE!!!u know i wouldn mind listening on other dayss just nott EXAM DAYSS!!love u mang!!..a.ahaha.i loved our assemblies cus we would bitch so much and talk crap with the guys at the back and trying to get away from the sunlight as much as possiblee....i would usually meet zul while kneeeling down amidst the crowd!!..ahhaha...damn i remember english and math d would be sooo farny cus we would NEVER EVER get teacher rose so we expected to fail for GCE!! and we would just not give a crap about work and pisss pierre and azlaney off...i miss master goh!!..dman he wasss cooll..hahaha...though what i remember may not seem that significant in any way...its significant to ME n thats what it will owes be..itss weird cus i forgot all the bad times and remembered all the good...all i know is that those were the ppl i didnt have to be anyone else but myself..i could get so loud and annoyingg but they never minded that much and still loved me for it..

u know the feeling u get when u remember a memory and smile to urself. thats what it felt like being in secondary school with all of u..........a simple form of happiness*