disintegrate

rate

how can u feeell like ur on top of the world one minute and the next ur heart is freaking heavy...
this blog will successsfully display the fickleness and 2-facedness of my life...

OK....i had the most AMAZING 18th birthday...i nevr never ever thought in a million that was how i was gonna spend it...well first thing that happened was that my mum surprised me when i was in londn cuz i knew my sis ws cuming but i didnt know that she was cuming...ahahah...and im telling u i was never ever that blur that morning...yeah...welll on the 16th oct i just went shopping mad in oxford and regent street!!..gosh itss serious craziness when ur shoppingg in london..itss like evrything is soo sooo prETTyy u just cant control yourself......the next day i was we used a train to paris!!...ahh...i nevr thought i would achieve one of my life dreams at age 18 and it felt completely crazy when i arrived...we stayed at this cute hotel with blue walls and like we had a pretty balcony looking over the streets it kinda felt like moulin rouge!!..when i opened the balcony doors i screamed out PARIS!!...ahahah...yeah i went to the louvre and i saw the mona lisa...i had goosebumps when i saw it...oh yeah and i saw the arch the triumphe and EIFFEL tower!!..it was soo sooo huge and preTTY....completelyy crazy man...ok yeah so shopping in paris is sooo sooo gooood!!!...like even better than londonn....basically i had a series of presents and i just felt like such a lucky star...so now im back in london...and staying at a frens place...hrmm..i met my aunt mariam and uncle glyn in bristol and damn it was a long ride..like 3hours cuz of traffic but it felt so goodd walking into the house and smelling brunei home cooked food...

my sis and mum gonna leave tomorw morning its soo sad!!..snifff bet il cry like helll but then anways il be cuming back in a month so i guess itss ok..i cant wait to get back..hrmm but im scared shytless thinking about sum of the things i mite have to face when i get back and i dun know how im gonna handle it...hpefully thingss wont be as bad as i think it would be....at this moment in time.after the wholee CRAZINESS and surrealness from last weeekk..im just starting to be abit more mellow and now feeeling abit sad....hrmmm......i just feeell like i have to live in the moment and be happyyy like i know i can never turn back time...i mean i really miss what i had before but i know i can never ever get it backk....i cant help but feell abit weird or uncomfortable listening to ppl toking about how they've moved on and found sumone else cuz it hurts and also u start to wonder if what u had was real or not?...im just here all on my own...with my past in my pocket and my eyes towards the sky...

yeah..im basicallly hurt that uve moved on..maybe not hurt but more shocked..but anyways i have no right to say anything anymore..so it doesnt matter...

catching all the falling stars*