disintegrate

rate

i fell in love today...felll in love with the new enrique iglesias song called somebody's me! i just love evrything
the song.i have continuously listening to it today!! such a sweet song and not a bad thing that enrique is H-o-T..he iss !! and definitely NOT gay!!..seems like evry love song that i listen brings me back to him. even when the song has nuthing to do with our situation but i imagine it and go off into my own lil world where only you and i matter.i love that ur not afraid...i love that ur brave for the both of us..when im unsure i know that u are..when i have lingering doubts u blow it all away! i love that u picked up the pieces and didnt run away...

last nite we went to tina's house for her 18th bday. the house was sooo pretty and they even had a ranch next to it and there was a beautiful white horse called mr.blue! it was dark so i couldnt realli see it but once i did i was so excited such a pretty and gentle animal it was. tina set up the backyard with candles and sofa's ..she hung christmas lights in the garden glass house and it really reminded me of the movie..under the tuscan sun.. seemed so mediteranean..the nite was filled with laughter and food!.the girls just danced to random songss we kept singing along to summer 69! sucha a nice song..then at nite i slept on the sofa taht was next to the huge window that when i lied down i could see the stars..sooo nicee!! cus we were in the country the stars were so obvious and the more u looked the starts u noticed looked like millions and billions..it was a cute nite..hehe..

he left few hours ago and his family was all sad and he was realli sad as well..ii started to cry as well cus i knew how it felt and i knew the feeling of having to part from ur loved ones not knowing when ul return..its hard to do but he remained strong and focused on the positive..i feel liberated in some way today..i realise that i am not a child anymore im turning 19 in a month and whether or not il accept it im turning into a young adult and having to figure out what i want from my own life and how i am going to live it..the decisions that i make are based on what i tink is right and i no longer can blame anyone.

" its our life cycle, and the caterpillar is slowly breaking from its cocoon..to finally be what it was always meant to be.. a butterfly!"