disintegrate

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life is getting so stressful and its sucking the life out me..ive only been in skul for a week and im alredi drained...gahh =(...hrmm was just randomly wondering about death? i mean what happens to one self when the spiritthat keeps our heart beating is gone..would we feel like we're in a verry verryy deeep sleepp...i wish i could switch to that mode for awhile...i cant take the pressure.,..and i cant being help being so imperfect...i dunno whats going on with me...i hope for one thing but end up doing another thing.....i hate arguments,misunderstandingss and feelingss of envy..we're living in a superficial world where we value possesions more than we value our own self..why were we made to be this way? why are we so aimless...questionss linger on for years but yet STILL no answer =(.....i reckon we're all dreaming and one day we'll finaly wake up and god will ask us what did we dream about?

anyways my flights been booked and im going to washington on the 17th =) it should be funn!!!...i cant wait to see my sister itss been ages since ive seen her...and renren is arriving on monday so hopefullyy i get to see himm...fingers crossed*...i cant believe its almost the end and i have another ten months till im done with high school...its completely mind boggling but i know thats it is definitely time for me to step into the real world...