disintegrate

rate

basicalllyy im feeeling rather nostalgic today and i miss home terribly!! i just miss all the things i did and all time spent with my loved oneeess....hrm itss sad having to leave ur place of refuge and venture out into the huge abyst...all i had was myself when i stepped on the soilss of england and it was up to me to allow it to make me or break me...yeas many have gone before me and have successfully completeddd all of it but when the shoe is on ..comfort is just a word but as for now a year has passed and i am happy to confirm that im ok and that i will be ok...i just have to take it a day at a time and i dun have to be alone anymoree...he is coming soon..he whom i love the most and the onee i cant not speak to for even one day...life is fuulll of expected surprises!! we can plan and pray for what we want in life but we soon realise its not in our control cus if it was there wouldn be any thing such unexpected surprises..

i had such an amazing summer now it just feells as if it didnt even happen..i misss playing badminton with ren and his family..i actually broke his racket into haf once and it was sooo scary and funny cus we kinda crashed into each other to hit the ball thingo.hehhee..and our bball competition where we lost to his sibs so we had to do the siissy run around empire sports hall..i reallly misss our drive aroundsss cus we would alwes end up driving to pointless placessss...and fight over which song to listen to and once he just gave up and we basically listened to gwen stefani '4 in the morning' literally from morning till night. and it was sooo hilarious when my dad let him drive my green car which is like the most cacat car in the whole wide worldd cus it doesnt have power steering and so he kept stalling on the roadddd..and i keptt teasing him that he was embarassed to drive my dads car!!.

imm looking for meaning and wisdom in my lifee..that is what i ultimatelyyy require..i desire to be lovedd and to loveee...my mumsss birthday is tomorrow and itss sad that my sister and i cant be there for herr!! i wish i was thereee and actualyy celebrate it with herr..if only london to brunei was like singapore to brunei//thingss would just be soo much less complicatedd...i remember going to ilotus mothers day when my whole family was there..i dunno why but it felt like a really long time ago and the only memory of us actualllyy spending timee as a whole family...

* i hope that u will wait for mee_______________________