disintegrate

rate

anywways i misss brunei so freaking much right noww!!!...its quite sad evryones back now but most of eevryone is back but i cant be there..snifles! my sis will be back end of the month and i only get to to spend a couple days with my siblings here in london.how sad!!..i misss homeee!! i missss waking up in the morningg and strechin out to one side of my bed eventho im not sharing!!heheh..and i misss waking up to my grandfather mowing the lawn which at first annoyss me but now i miss it..and also going for bfast with my parentsss cus my mum will always be complaining about how hot it iss and my dad will always force me to order in chinese and start complimenting me when i do!!hehhe..funny...cus he cant say much either but then my mum would come along then tell me i pronounce things funny.=P

i misssssssss going for training in bandar..our crazy drills where il be panting like a psycho woman!!and then making jokes with coach fan and sometimes watch darren play =P....then later having dinner with his parentss...good timess ..hehe..i cant not talk about the foodd in brunei cus i miss it like hell.okie.like nasi lemak,mee goreng,kueh tiaw,beehoon,teh tarik,teh c ping,butter prawn, kiam chai? anddd more food goodness that i am not able to get a hold of here!! darren and i attempt to cook them but it always turns out soo damn BAD that we get really demotivated and always wish our mums were here to teach us then get annoyed cus we didnt learn how to cook!!hehee..but he always makess sure i eat enough and that he tries to make sure itss goodd if not he wont let me eat it then cheeerss me up by trying to make the teh tarik with those instant 3-in-1 teh tarik thingys.hehee

exams are in a month and im so not prepared..i just need to do moreeee revision!! its nevr enough thats the annoying bit about it...boomm chicka wa wa!! VEENAH i soo envy u right nowww..i wannaa go brunei too!!hehehe..but u have fun there and i know ur wishing i was there too!! and get ann to get her drivers soon.so at least she can drive us around in her sisters audi one day...hehee..anyways christmas party is next weekend and this weekend im going to london to meet sultan in this hotel..its actually an invitation for all bruneian ppl to meet him!ehee...should be fun i guesssssss..=P...

im so random right nowwwwwwwwwwwwww.....

Remember me, im the one that fell...
im lost within my own world,wondering how i ended up here.
i wont let u down.il take care of u today,tomorrow,over and over agen!
im a lil broken and bruised but im still here.
i scream,shout and cry...the drama continues until i cry out to u..
there you are..running through the fire holding ur hand out.
thats who u are to me.
the one that'll wait a million years and never give up.
and if i drive,we'll drive into the sunset.
promise we will,let go of the bad and hope for evrlasting happiness.

its 11.50pm and the whole house is quiet. i feel rather relaxed and maybe a lil sad! maybe its due to the song that im listening to that brings me back to a place where i dun want to be whatver it is it aint a good thing.
tomorrow is a start to a whole new week filled with exams and assignments.i dunno what i'd do without the ppl i have in my life i'd probably go insane. i didnt do much this weekend just hung out with ren. it was extremenly cold yday that i almost coudn take it felt like my bones were freeezing inside out.

i wanna make a difference, i want to leave a mark in this world though im just a speck in this big world i believe i can make a difference but im not sure how yet. why is money so important, people who have it desire it and people who have it are so unhappy! i need sumthing of substance and meaning in my life. i dunt think we have very long on this earth..tomorrow isnt promised to anyone so what am i waiting for?
you ask me what i want? i cant answer cus i have no idea whether what i want is what i need and what i need is what i want! if only i knew....

my smiles and laughters are dedicated to you and my tears are yours to keep..

Dolly scientist abandons cloning

The scientist who led the team that controversially created Dolly the sheep is abandoning the cloning of human embryos in stem cell research.

Professor Ian Wilmut, of Edinburgh University, believes a rival method developed in Japan holds the key to curing serious medical conditions.

The new method creates stem cells from fragments of skin and could remove the need to use human embryos.

Pro-life groups opposed to the use of embryonic cells have welcomed the move.

But Prof Wilmut said: "We've not made this decision because it's ethically better.

"To me it's always been ethically acceptable to think that if you could use cells from a human embryo to develop a treatment for a disease like motor neurone disease, for which there is no treatment at present, then that is an acceptable thing to do."

Building blocks

The professor's team developed a cloning technique that has subsequently been used to harvest stem cells - which have the potential to be grown into any cell in the human body.
At last scientists are starting to see reason. It is a gift to us all. We are at last going to see some common sense coming into the debate
Josephine Quintavalle,
Comment on Reproductive Ethics

Embryonic stem cells are widely regarded as the most flexible cells in the body and could one day be used to produce transplant tissues to treat degenerative diseases.

But the Ian Wilmut has now embraced a technique developed by Professor Shinya Yamanaka of Kyoto University, Japan, that involves genetically modifying adult cells to make them almost as flexible as stem cells. The research has been conducted on mice.

Professor Wilmut said his own research team held a meeting at which it was agreed the Japanese method had more potential than the use of embryonic cells.

He said: "The work which was described from Japan of using a technique to change cells from a patient directly into stem cells without making an embryo has got so much more potential.

"Even though it's only been described for the mouse, when we were considering which option to pursue, whether to clone or whether to copy the work in Japan, we decided to copy the work in Japan."

More acceptable
Dolly the sheep was unveiled to the world in 1997

The eventual aim is to grow replacement tissue as body parts become worn out.

There is some way to go before Professor Yamanaka's method can be used to grow tissue for transplantation as the resulting cells are unstable and potentially cancerous.

But Professor Wilmut believes that within five years the new technique could provide a better and ethically more acceptable alternative to cloning embryos for medical research.

Josephine Quintavalle, spokeswoman for Comment on Reproductive Ethics which is against the use of human embryos, welcomed the move.

She said: "At last scientists are starting to see reason. It is a gift to us all. We are at last going to see some common sense coming into the debate."

In 1997 Professor Wilmut's team made headlines around the world when they unveiled Dolly, the first mammal to be cloned from an adult cell.

killl mEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeEEEEE..i just sent my applications to all my universitieSSSs...oh dear oh dear!!! the stresss is just beginning cus now its the torture of waiting!!! dammmmmm...i wannna screamm im so excited but also so damn scared!! what if i dun get any offerSS??what if they dun like me? what if i screw my interviews up?? imm going insane and im freaking out ...j.lo sent hers using my pc then i did mine!! we were both panicking but it was much better doing with her than ALONE cus my hands kept shaking..hehee..damm...

well muy choices are :
1 imperial college london
2.university college london
3.kings college london
4.wawrick university
5.bath university!!!

AAHHhhhhhhhhh..now i have to study my aasss off hoping il get an offer and finally actually achieving it at the end of this school year..please god!!! give me the strength that i need to presevere!!!.....today was a good and chillaxed day until NOW..hehe...gonna have dinner soon so am gonna call the girlss...i have been watching gossip girls online with j.lo and clarie for the past few nites and now we are obsessed that we actualy upload them and they'll come to my room at 11 then wacth till 1.pretty funny...gossip girls aint tooo badd sorta reminds me of OC but alittle bit more edgier...
my cousin alisa is coming to uk this weekend and staying for 2 weeks and i will be bringing her sight seeing..eheh iim quite excited about it cus it'll tonnes of fun.thats about it realy with the latest updates of my life.

but im out cus im off to have salmon for dinner.yum-o

Things aren’t as black and white as they may seem sometimes. There isn’t always a right or wrong decision because life is never that simple. For example what if a man robs an old lady on the street? Your first reaction would definitely be, OMG! That person is a cold heartless man who should be thrown in jail to rot but what if his reasons were noble. His reason was to take the money and use it to pay for his child;s medicines or use it to put food on the table. Yes, there are better ways to deal with his problem but what is jobs market is low and the only job he has is just enough to pay for the rent,electricity and water bills. I could go on and on with an argument and never come to a clear conclusion. The book of justice stating what is right or wrong is an obvious disadvantage and does not serve a very good purpose and obviously no justice. How can it? We are only human beings we are not suppose to place ourselves superior to each other which is why we shouldn’t judge! Only God has the power to do that.

Why is it so easy for us to just sit back in the audience and discriminate a man giving a speech by saying it was boring, unclear , stupid or even a waste of time. Well what about his time put in that presentation? And what about his courage? Not everyone has the strength to stand up in front of an audience and try to catch their attention. Sometimes all we can do is point the finger but cover ourselves behind this glass shield. People to a lesser or greater extent a self centred and I hate that human flaw. No wonder we are so screwed up. No one is happy or content due to the curse of choices. We are too greedy and selfish thinking we deserve everything and anything in this world, whether we worked for it or not that’s a separate thing.

democracy and Monarchy whats the difference, everyone is still bounded anyways. There;s no such thing as freedom but something we believe we possess. If we are not bounded by family, its environment, its government and also by our own minds. So theres no such thing as black and white, right or wrong!!! I just thought things were different and that we actually had sumthing but I guess I was wrong? Who knows.

sometimes i wish i could fly above the seas and into the galaxy!

been having a hectic past week.pretty much rolling with the punches! tomorow im sending off all my applications and im going away with my hands clean and hoping for the best!!school is becoming a serious bitch lately esp math lessons, have u ever felt like the more u tried the more dumber u feell well yeah beeen feeling that way lately..not a good feeling but im not giving up that easily. last nite cathrin,jeniffer,clarie and i went insane in the room cus we were so stress that we started talking so much nonesense such as insulting our old housemistresses and laughing at each other till i had tears in my eyesss. we seemed pretty drunk but there wasnt a drop in sight!! anywyas clarie felt hungry at like 1030pm so we went downstairs to cook noodles and i made a chocolate cappucinno thingy for j.lo and cathrin cus i was feeling realli nice and it tasted really good too..hehee

i hope evryone back in brunei doing alevels now are not super super stress but i bet they are!! sooo goodluck EVERYbodyyyy and READ THE INSTRUCTIONSS!!!hehe!!!

the days are getting darker much earlier nowadays whcih is confusing my brain cus in the morning itss really sunny but reallly cold so my body cant seemmm to adjust.

tomorrow is a new day,
a day to figure what i want,
i want to fill in the gaps.
the gaps that leave me hollow..