disintegrate

rate

u know evrythings ok when u wake up with a smile on ur face!

we had our annual christmas party last nite with the boys skul!..it was so fun i was realy surprised how much fun i realli did have funn..we all started getting ready at like 4 30 eventho the party was onli starting at 7!..anywess girlsss..we were scrambling arundd looking for hair dryerss and time to use the toilet...by the end of it evryone looked so soo pretty!!..well when we got there there wasnt anyone there yet..so clare and i went staright to the buffet and tried evrything..it was soo funnyy..like she would yell over..VANESSA this is soo goood!!..and she'll just shove one onto my plate and my immediate reaction would be..YUM!!!!!..ahahaha..it was prettyy funnyy..we took loads and loaddsssss of picturesss which i shall post if i can find my FREAking WirE!!..soo annoying that i cant find it..

the DJ was pretty gooood he playedd reallii good songgss...then all the guyss camee and i introduced my girl fren to my other guy fren....and lets just say they exchanged numbers by the end of the nite..it was sooooooooo sweett!!..ahahah..there was like one hundred of us alll cramped up in our dining hall and dancinggg...at one point they played NSYNC girlfren!!..i was like screaming like helll and just danceddddd and closdd myy eyess..it wass soo great...we danced from like 8 till 11...it was funny when helen got onto the table with allie and we were like WHAT THE HELL??..aaahhaha..AND sme of the cantonese girlsss ran to a store to buy alcohol..that was pretty funny cus they were like do u tink we can pass for 18yr olds and i was like..ok welll if they ask for ur IDs at the counter just leave the alcohol and RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!....they were like okie okie but in the end they came back with it without anyone questioning them ..it was farny when i was dancing with jojo and fiona and we turneddd around and this couple was like full on making out!!and we startedd laughng likee madd..we'reee likeee HOKEEEIII!!..

anywess...my last weekend its here!and bsically il be leaving in 4dayss...i can honestly say...il be ok...wherevr i am whether here or back home..im surrounded by ppl that caress...il have my occasional breakdownss and depressedd mode but by the end of the day il get over it and find a way to put a smile on my face!!..seee u guyss in 5days..love ya

AAHHh..fuck!...i wanna go home now!..ahahaha..damn!!..im like soo soo stress cus im so distarcted by the fact that i will be going home soon that i cant keep still..like i cant do any work cus basically im alredi in my holiday self!..which isnt a gooddd..and shall i REPEAT NOT A GOODD A THING!!!!!.hrmm hrmmmm...
#
anywes...i spent the whole day in town today..i went to town at like eleven in the morning...and went on a freaking spree..i was like contemplating whether i should get these two things and i was like..what the heck!..il get both of it..cus i deserve it and im soo soo stress..and i am not completely selfish cus i bought my brother a sexy green tie and my sister blue pokadot ballet flatss!!...ahaha..itss so cute tho..heh..damn and my aunt and uncle came down from london to visit me..so we ate at nando.s which is like a YUM-O..ahhaa...damn..and she goes like..oh vanessa!!..we also came down this weekend to get ur christmas present..so do u have anything in mind!..aAWw..sooo sweett...i was like GREAT!!..ahaha..so basically that was my day..of mindless shopping!..which i have to admit doesnt realli help a stressed out mind but the onli thing it does do is give me ´cheap happiness which once in a while doesnt feel tooo bad...

so yeah..today he told me he didnt wanna see me when i get back?..i dunno what to think about it cus one part of me goes like..ok yeah i cant force him to do what he doesnt want to n i cant repeat my mistakes..i cant be frens with him then all of a sudden feel like i miss him then feel like i wanna be with him then getting all confused with my feelings.ive done that too many times and it aint fun..right now i just have to stick to my decision and be mature enuf to live with the consequences.....i guess ive kinda expected that i mite lose him when i finally decided which path i was going to take long before..itss sad cus now all i have are our memories....i know ppl mite think im sucha a bitch or whatver..but i realli dun care cus ur not me and u didnt go thru all the things i went thru....

he makes evrything ok even when its not..he makes me happy and its as simple as that..

i misss myy mummmmy!!...i wanna see her right now..ehehe..i was like toking to myy sis just now and we were just being realli retarded..my lil brother put up the christmas tree without mEE! so i was like.-.WHATTTTTTTTTTT::TAKE IT ALLL DOWN!!!!!!...and wait for mee to get back!!..ahhah..so he didd!!..ahahah...