disintegrate

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hey... life is a skanky shyt

i hate math!!! i hate the whole fucking education systemm,...its totally messed up and i cant believe im stuck in this cycle thats bound to make u feel inadequate and stupid...its not as if im not trying what the hell do u tink im doing??...i fucking walk into ur class each day hoping to improve so dun diss me when im right in front of your face..dun compare me to HER when u know she is smart..why bother having a teacher if all ur students are smart..GET a clue and help the people that actually do need THE HELP...instead of praising the ones tht have alredi made it and then ignore the ones who are struggling...in a way i dun blame u.its the FUCKING SYSTEM!!..if i didnt care i would rather just skive all lessons and not give a damn...the problem is I DO CARE...thats the MAIN problem..i care toooo fucking much!!!..i dun need to feel this way...the numbers that im taught will not help me be a better person..the equations that i solve will not help me find the meaning of life..will it??....why is the system so screwed upp??..

i wannaa drop out and just live in egypt!

when i came back i broke down and so cathrin and i went to town and bought movies and junk foodd..so we basically are really stressed out with exmas and so we stuffedd our faces with food and now i feel like puking...tomorrow morning i have a tennis match =)..

i realised that i love u and i cant live without u...but....i wish it was that simple..etc etc etc....

if only